“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”—Robert Muller
One of THOSE Blog Posts?
This is not one of those religious blogs where we’re going to try to persuade you to following something or someone. However, we’re bringing up forgiveness for a good reason. Forgiveness is for you (and everyone else too). Forgiveness is healthy. Actually, it is beneficial to multiple components of our health: mental, emotional, psychological, social, and physical.
Unforgiveness
An unforgiving spirit is filled with hurt, anger, bitterness, and resentment. Unless brought under control, these emotions can wreak havoc in our lives. Unforgiveness can trigger bad behaviors and habits like excessive drinking, unhealthy weight gain, bad relationships, shopping addictions, etc. Maybe you can relate to some of those?
How to Control It
The best way to control and manage such powerfully negative emotions is by understanding and practicing the art of forgiveness. Forgiveness, by definition, is to cease feelings of resentment against (offender). “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies,” said Nelson Mandela. It is an attribute of the strong that lets you regain your personal power, helps you restore yourself to basic goodness and health. Also, it is a way to enhance self-esteem, give hope, and restore faith. Forgiveness is the key to making peace with your past, fully embracing your future and lasting happiness.
Forgiveness is For You
Forgiveness is for you. Who/what needs forgiveness in your life? “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you,” said Lewis B Smedes. It does not change the past, but it does create more room for an empowering future. You deserve that! Yes, sometimes there is a payoff for hanging on to pain, and I’m not saying everyone deserves your forgiveness, but when we don’t forgive, whether we know it or not, we continue to fester negative emotion. We limit our ability to feel compassion and we disallow ourselves to take complete responsibility for our lives.
Forgiveness Exercise
It’s time to close your eyes and clear your heart. Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive. Let it hurt, bleed, and heal. As Elsa from Frozen sings “Let it go!” FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE WRONGED YOU. Try this exercise.
- Find a quiet place where you’re away from people and have the freedom to cry, shout, or stamp your feet.
- Grab something to write with and 2-5 sheets of paper.
- Make a list of the people who hurt you and how they did it. Feel free to use the same person more than once. That’s fine, just get it all down. Do not hold back.
- Once you’re done completing your list, you will affirm forgiveness by writing down and reading out loud an emotional release statement.
EXAMPLE
Mom, I forgive you for sexually abusing me and for projecting your inner hurt on me. I’m sorry, I love you.
- I forgive you: Evaporates the resentment and bitterness that you hold toward them.
- I’m sorry: Allows you to feel compassion.
- I love you: Balances the energy and allows you to be released from being the victim.
You will read each emotional release statement ten times. Move through each person/scenario until you are finished. It’s important that you don’t half-ass this exercise, seriously. Really say it like you mean it. This is your opportunity for a real breakthrough! If emotions surface, don’t hold back. Getting angry? The, grab a pillow and shout into it. That’s okay. If you need to cry, that’s perfectly alright too. This is your time. Use it how you wish. Just don’t inflict harm on others, yourself, animals, or your belongings.
The Benefits of Forgiveness
Does this sound silly to you and you’re wondering, “Why bother?” read below the health benefits the medical field has discovered when studying the effects of letting go. What they found with individuals who practice forgiveness:
- healthier relationships
- improved mental health
- less anxiety, stress, and hostility
- lower blood pressure
- fewer symptoms of depression
- a stronger immune system
- improved self esteem
- improved heart health
Plain and simple, let go. Your mental, emotional, social, and physical health will all be better for it when you do. Remember, forgiveness is healthy.
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